The Verdict
A solid bar burger with real highlights — the drip was legitimate, the mouth feel landed, and the stack had its moments. But cold buns, a weaponized tomato, and fries that Legal Counsel formally described as "garbage" kept the Big Al from true royalty. The Maitre d' dissents. He wanted more tomato. The Roundtable is concerned.
Pre-game
The First Bar
The Roundtable convenes. Burger selected. Silence protocol briefed. Someone is already gesturing aggressively about something unrelated to burgers.
The subject
The Big Al
Left: The Big Al arrives. A Lil Bo pint stands witness. Center: The accused tomato, front and center, unapologetic. Right: The aftermath — clean plates, used napkins, and no fries to be found (on plates or in scores).
The scorecard
By Category
The Drip (juiciness)
3.62
Mouth Feel
3.50
The Patty
3.38
Supporting Cast
3.38
Architecture
3.25
The Stack
3.25
The Crown
3.12
The Bun
2.75
The Fries ⚠ Not counted in official score
1.50
Member ratings
The Rankings
1
Maitre d'
4.22
2
The Scheduler
3.22
3
Vice Commish
3.11
3
Scorekeeper
3.11
3
The Commish
3.11
6
The Historian
2.89
7
The Treasurer
2.67
8
Legal Counsel
2.33
—
The Court Jester
DNS
From the field
Dispatches
Legal Counsel
"Whole thing got soggy quickly; seemingly attributable to pickle juice or my tears. Fries were garbage. Somewhat redeeming, server was strong to quite strong."
Filed as Exhibit A. Tears vs. pickle juice: investigation ongoing.
The Treasurer
"Fried egg was a nice complement, bacon was thick which elevated the experience, but overall left a lot to be desired. The patty itself was the biggest disappointment — very plain, no spice or seasoning."
A man who counts every penny and every flavor note.
The Commish
"Real drippy (too wet). Kinda messy on the plate. Did not like the tomato — as thick as the burger. Loved overall burger and experience as soon as the tomato left the chat."
Official ruling: tomato is hereby under review.
The Scheduler
"Mid."
A man of few words. Many calendar invites.
⚠ Official Notice: Probationary Status
The Court Jester (JTT) failed to appear for Night 1. No burger was eaten. No scores were cast. The Commish has been notified. Legal Counsel is drafting paperwork. One more absence and this becomes a constitutional matter. The throne is watching.